Cause Band-Aid's Stuck on Me

Angie was my ex-girlfriend's best friend. They had a ritual--every Friday they would go out, drink rummy fu-fu drinks--spin the little umbrellas, and talk shit about men. Then they would come back to our place, eat, puke, and pass out. There were a few nights, that it looked like we might have a ménage à trois but that never panned out. I do still have the occasional ménage à un thinking about it, though.

When I first saw Angie's tattoo, she called it a "Tiger-Lily"--I called it a bunch of Band-Aids, (ouchless) with some high school mascot on them. That is when we stopped being civil. She started to tell people what an asshole I am, and I proved her right by humming the "I am Stuck on Band-Aid" jingle whenever she was around, which may be Manilow's most haunting work.

Extra deduction for not believing me that Barry wrote that shit.
Don't fucking ask...

What this tattoo says about the wearer:

They hold on tight no matter what to fingers, toes and knees.



  1. I think it's a "furry" eye-view depiction of Christmas morning. The best Christmas EVER.

  2. yeah, god bless that Barry. Also wrote the "You deserve a break today" campaign for McDonalds. For knowing that, I will now kill myself. Goodnight.

  3. Can't believe there aren't more dead tattoo "artist". I thought they lived their natural lives until about 40 anyway. Somebody has got to start taking these bad dudes out...

  4. I couldn't believe those were anything BUT Band-Aids when I saw that thing. That's supposed to be a friggin' LILY??? On what planet? The tiger cross-eyed, and his nose is just wrong. Nevermind. The latter is the least of this chick's problem.