Zaius Christ

When Derek showed me this tattoo, I didn't know what to think. Was it a joke? Or did he really think J-Chrizzle looks that much like Dr. Zaius?

I decided to hem and haw for a while, and then just come right on out and ask him about it:

So...(hem)...Derek...(haw)...what the fuck is up with your tattoo?
What do you mean?

I mean, it looks like a! looks like Cornelius from Planet of the Apes, but with a bald head!
What? Fuck you, man. It is Jesus!

Nope, it is Cornelius. Cornelius-lookin'-muhfuckah. Let me get a picture of that... Have you seen my blog?
Don't you DARE try to put me in that stupid blog of yours!

Oh? You are my next entry...Dr Zaius...and you are going to be speaking in a tiny lavender font.
You are such an asshole.


Extra deduction for having the shortest fuse on the planet...(of the Apes)
FUCK YOU!! I will "planet of the Apes" your fuckin' face!

What this tattoo says about the wearer:

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

SUCH an asshole.



  1. LOL! I'm glad that you were so tactful when questioning his choice of tattoo!

  2. Funny as shit big Dick. The tat and the "conversation." If that's what Jesus looks like them I'm in good shape.

  3. I find it fairly ironic that along with the tattoo of Jesus (humor your friend for the sake of discussion) he's got a tattoo of a kid that looks like he came straight out of "Rosemary's Baby" or "The Omen".