Sweepin' the Clouds Away

Dave had made it clear that he was getting his kid tattooed on his arm. I told him he should wait until Maury tells him he is the father, for sure, but that fell on deaf ears.

Hey Dave.
Hey. I got that tattoo. You wanna see it?

Oh, you know I do.
OK, but it ain't finished yet. It still needs color.

Well. Dave, I didn't know that your wife was a Muppet.

You know, a Muppet. Sesame Street?--The Muppet Show? A Muppet, man.
What the fuck are you talking about? I know what a fuckin' Muppet is.


(Prolonged silence)

So, what color is she going to be? Blue? Orange?
Dude, What is it with you and Muppets today?

Photo courtesy of Dean's iPhone. Dean is a total iPenis.

Yeah!! like her, see? That Muppety mouth, the same vacant stare.
Well, I told you, it ain't finished.

Do you guys sing lots of songs about numbers, and letters...

Fuck off.

...Or do they outgrow it?

Bye, Dave.

Extra deduction for the Olan Mills pose.

What this tattoo says about the wearer:

Dave's tattoo was brought to you by the letter P, and the number 2.



  1. Yay! Welcome back!

    And I totally thought puppet when I first saw it too.

  2. Remind me not to show you my tattoo's LOL (But mine are no where near as bad as any of these!)

  3. Yes, welcome back, Captain. I saw you lurking around my blog the other day.

    That is one of the sadder tats I've seen in a while.

  4. Points for the "Olan Mills pose" comment. Perfect.

    Oh, and it looks like the lil' Muppet has a 5 o'clock shadow too. Perhaps this guy should get his daughter check for some hormonal imbalance.

  5. He better hope he stays with his wife till he dies.Because with a tattoo like that nobody will ever want to make babies with him again,for fear of having an ugly kid.

  6. the kid with dirty elbows, something out of a horror flick, Amityville Tattoo? WTF is wrong with those creepy ass eyes?

  7. Isn't that Daughter of Chuckie?

  8. One of the best tattoos I've seen! I'm sure it will look better once he gets color. :)

  9. It's awful that the kid was saying something right when the tattoo was made. The owner's lucky she didn't blink and ruin it entirely.

  10. Damn kid in the tat reminds me of Cujo just before an attack.

  11. My first thought was of "Baby Ruth" from the movie "The Goonies". Remeber the scary guy locked in the basement? Here's a refresher...

  12. That is so incredibly hilarious. How can he not see that's awful

  13. Oh ma lawd! I'm sorry but I doubt that tat will get any better. He should either start saving for laser removal, or have the whole thing blacked over. That thing is going to give me worse things than that new Filet-o fish commercial.
    Ame in TN

  14. Nobody should ever have that on their arm!

  15. LMAO , and I thought I've seeen all tattoos at the coney island freak show.....WRONG !! lol

  16. It looks like she's stranglng herself. I guess if I was a soot-covered muppet I might opt to do the same...

  17. Are we sure his kid isn't that ugly?

  18. ROFL at that guy! check my blog out!

  19. LMFAO! So funny! I love your blog posts! Ha! It does look like a Muppet!

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