Less Michael Moore

I met Josh in a bar in Lock Haven, Pennsyltucky. I was about a mile past drunk. He seemed to on the wrestling team at LHU. Or at least his jacket was.


"Hey...Man..HEY!!, Lemme see your tattoo."
"OK"

"That might be the best tattoo of a 'Homeless guy' I have ever seen. Actually, it might be the ONLY tattoo of a Bum I have ever seen. What made you"--
(interrupting) "It is Michael Moore, not a bum."

"Michael Moore? (synapses firing) michael moore?....OH!! You mean that homeless bum who makes movies. Gotcha."
"Dude, he is not a bum, he makes huge money. Quit being a fag."

"A fag? You roll around with dudes, wearing leotards, and I am the fag?"
"Yeah. You are the fag, Fag."

"Whoa--whoa...I just wanted to see your tattoo. Besides, I don't have a cute little leotard to put on."
(getting all puffed up) "You are lucky that you don't. I would destroy you."


"Yes...yes. No question. But, when we get back to your place--cover Michael up... it is going to be difficult for me to maintain a boner, with such an ugly face looking at me."


After he beat me up, we became BFFs, just like in the movies! I was able to let him know that his tattoo was great work...I just think it is dumb. And he was able to communicate that he disagrees with my opinion, he thinks that I am an asshole, and his kung fu is better than mine.




Extra deduction because if you needed to feel connected to Michael Moore, you could have just followed him on one of the social media sites. If you need to befriend a guy who needs a shave, and looks like he might smell bad-- here---Twitter, or myspace.






What this tattoo says about the wearer:

Weird things.







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Tony Danza Extravaganza

Technically, this is a great tattoo. The artist truly captured the very essence of Danza, from his little-boy haircut (that might be the best tattoo of hair I have ever seen), to his goofwad grin. From his thought-lined forehead, to his foppish bow-tie.
It is little wonder he turned Danny Pintauro gay.

The biggest problem is that this is a Tony Danza talk-show era tattoo. If it was a "Taxi" era Danza, or even a "Who's the Boss" era one, he might not have even made the cut to be enshrined in these hallowed pages.
Nah, I am full of shit. Any Danzatoo will get you in. How the fuck did that guy make it?
He is like Lionel Richie...I don't know a single person who likes him, but somehow, he has succeeded.




Extra deduction for making the poor artist spend HOURS on a portrait of Tony Fucking Danza.








What this tattoo says about the wearer:

I knock em dead with my Danza imitation ad nauseum:

"Angela! Samantha! Mona!"













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